Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
