I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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