That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
