I hate your face
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
