So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
