Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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