so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
