Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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