Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
