I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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