you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
