I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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