Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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