Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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