Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
