so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
