I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
