I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
