Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
