the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
