i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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