You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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