i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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