I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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