Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's the barista slut.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
