good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
