this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
