some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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