So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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