Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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