Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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