hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
