Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
