my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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