there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
