Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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