I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
