his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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