I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
