Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
