all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
