nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
