ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
