some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
