Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
