She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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