He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Found your dick twin last night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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