Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
