you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dear god my vagina.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
