what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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